The Heartland

This last week entailed travels to the Heartland, the rolling hills of southern Kansas, the strip malls and NASCAR tracks that spring up in wide open, gray fields, the IHOPs, the beer joints, the home of the Bengals and the friendly homes of the Midwest. A visit to Middle America from the East Coast is easy to arrange and inexpensive but as much an eye-opening experience as any overseas travel. A few days around here reveals how city Coasters, East and West, have a very limited idea of how their fellow Americans live.

On Friday, my former nanny, her mother and two of her best friends and I went out to a new outdoor shopping mall between her home in Olathe and Kansas City. Legends has just about every store you can imagine plus restaurants and hotels to crash in before another day of hard-core shopping. Next to Legends sits Cabela's -- the world's foremost outfitter, the Yard House where one can order hundreds of draft beers by the half yard, and other assorted delightful establishments. Since our plan was to have a martini, hit two stores, have some more martinis and appetizers, hit two more stores and so forth, we already knew we'd be crashing at the Holiday Inn Express on site. During the course of the evening, items were purchased, mechanical bulls were ridden and fallen from, half-yards were consumed, and creamy, buttery, fattening dishes were consumed voraciously.

The next day I'd really wanted to head over to the Kansas Speedway where beer can be purchased by the 6-pack but was told I'd have to return in September for the NASCAR race. Instead we went to Cabela's. After making our way through the crowd standing around the local country station's mobile outpost and the neon orange sale items, we finally entered outfitting paradise. It was a sensory overload: a REAL fishing pond in the back, a huge aquarium, a game room filled with large stuffed game from all over the world, a shooting range and sprawling floors of hunting, hiking and outdoor gear. Awesome. Besides the Jockey outlet, it was the only place I dropped bones over the weekend.

Sunday - a family day - I hung with my former nanny's lovely and spirited children. We watched the little girl perform a Charlie Brown's Christmas. After biscuits and gravy and barbecue sandwich a little later on, I headed for the airport and jetted off to my next Midwestern stop: Cincinnati.

This three-day stay has been a little different than the Kansas visit. Sitting here in my older brother's living room, I find myself content watching TLC and playing with my 2.5 week-old niece. The surroundings are more familiar since, when my brother and sister-in-law announced they'd be buying a new home together, my parents donated some of our older furniture. It's amazing to see the transformation that maturity and family worked on the dorky, blue-velvet-shoe sporting, eye-liner applying, grumpy teen I knew growing up. His home is wonderfully homey and his family (of all girls) is beautiful.

After walking their athletic golden retriever puppy, my brother and I went out to the local dive to watch the Bengals get their butts kicked. We sat together and shared some imported British lagers and then switched to bottles of good American light beer. Surrounded by adults (of all ages) sporting bright orange and black jerseys emblazoned with their favorite players' names, we chatted about life -- a conversation that probably deteriorated over the hours but became no less enjoyable.

Tomorrow night I'm back to the East Coast to stay for just over a week. I have a lot left to accomplish in the time before I fly out and Christmas will be a (welcome) distraction. My vague efforts at fundraising continues -- check out my status on portiamills.com.